So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
