Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
