she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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