Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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