My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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