i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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