A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
