honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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