ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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