It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
