You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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