Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
