youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
