but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
