i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
