piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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