so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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