All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize