I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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