He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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