At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
