Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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