Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
tell me about the eggs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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