There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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