I'm really into asian looking animals
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
