i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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