Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
