if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize