dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
