But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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