I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
