How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
