he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I understand Curling. That high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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