Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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