so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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