Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
