this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
