If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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