Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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