When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
