Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
