She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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