Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
