I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
