dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
