Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
