Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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