Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
