i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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