Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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