Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
one might say we're banned from that church
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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