I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
