dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You are the jesus of drinking
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
