'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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