big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
two words: eviction party
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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