..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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