chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
