Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
