This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
