so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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