i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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