I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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