Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
